Sleepless
by sangga
Summary: Post-'Harper 2.0' : Hyper-Harper goes off to the land of nod, and Trance sprinkles the fairy dust.


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Title: Sleepless

Author: sangga

Rating: G

Disclaimer: Lions and tigers and bears, oh my. I don't own these characters, oh my. If you think I do…oh my.

Email: **sangga55@hotmail.com**

Archive: As you please – drop me a line.

Summary: Post-'Harper 2.0': Hyper-Harper goes off to the land of nod, and Trance sprinkles the fairy-dust.

Note: I'm assuming, for the sake of argument, that this occurs either before Harper's conversation with Rev Bem or that said conversation never took place.

Spoilers: 'Harper 2.0'

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Sleepless

She watches him unplug. There's a certain calm now, but still the sweating, the paleness.

"There, it's done, it's done – I did it, it's over now – phew, how about that, huh? All that info, all tucked up, all tucked away – I put it to bed, yessiree, I sure did. Y'know I put in a failsafe, it's pretty damn good, if I do say so myself, some of my best work, I don't think even _I'll_ be able to find it if –"

"That's great," she interrupts, then puts a hand on his arm. "Come on, now – you need to get some rest."

He pulls back, a hornet's buzz of nervousness.

"_Hey_ – no meds, okay? I'm not into it, I don't want any more meds, or shots, or sedatives – nothing like that, okay? I don't want –"

"No, no meds. Just rest. Your body needs to rest, Harper. Your mind too. Let's go back to your quarters."

She's coaxing, gentle. He lets himself be led out, but his stream-of-consciousness patter trails them through the corridors.

"Just rest, right? Right, of course, _naturellement_ – you're the doctor, Doctor – I mean, _I_ was the doctor before, when I had all that stuff in my brain, but I was thinking about it and _boy_, I'm so totally glad I never went in for medicine, 'cos engineering is so much simpler in sooo many ways, y'know? Like if something breaks down it doesn't start with all the bleeding and puking and stuff, and don't get me started on _that_ 'cos y'know I've never been so great with vomit – yuck – I mean, call me a baby, but I think it's the smell that gets me, and I don't imagine that being constantly nauseated would be so great for a doctor's bedside manner – please, just give me machines any ole day of the week, I'm _so_ much better with machines…"

He's still babbling as she keys the door and leads him inside. When he turns around to face her, she touches his arm to create a pause.

"Harper, on the subject of smells, it's been nearly three days since you washed."

Standing there, in his sweat-stained shirt, he looks surprised.

"Really? Three days? Wow – I didn't think about it, 'cos y'know, I was –"

"Harper – go shower."

She motions with her eyes to the bathroom, and gives a little push. He's still getting his head around the concept.

"That bad, huh? Well, I guess, okay – sure, fine, sounds good, a shower, cool – cleanliness is next to godliness, as they say, or as some people say, 'tak verun ghosk, ek vern unn ghosk', eh? And now that you mention it, I do feel kinda – phew, ahem, yup, I guess I do…" He looks confused. "So are you gonna, like, watch?"

She smiles and turns to the sofa.

"No, Harper, I'm not going to watch. I'll just wait here."

"Oh, okay, sure, no problem, then I guess, I mean, okay…"

He wanders to the shower cubicle, absently pulling his shirt over his head. She waits until she hears the water come on, and then his vaguely worried voice.

"Hey, no peeking, okay? I'm sure it's all fine and dandy where purple people come from, but traditionally in my playground the no-peeking rule is strictly –"

The rest is drowned out by water sounds. A moment longer and she's sure that he's occupied. She goes to the bedroom and selects a fresh t-shirt and some comfortable-looking sweat pants, then wanders back to hang them over a towel rack. Mindful of the no-peeking rule, she's content with a quick sideways glance – he's rolling his head under the spray with his eyes closed. Amazing, how a little hot water can flush away a whole faucetful of nothing-speak.

When he emerges, dressed, he's damp behind the ears but considerably slowed-down.

"…oh, _man_ – yeah, that…that was good, god, a shower, wow – I feel like a new man, a _neeww_ man – well, a new guy, y'know…yeah…"

He looks more at ease now, at any rate. She approves, a nod and a smile.

"You do look better."

"You _bet_ I look better – I _feel_ better…" He touches his face and is immediately distracted. "…but hey, I'm a little – I need a shave, huh? Maybe I should have a –"

"I think the shaving part can wait. Here…"

She ushers him towards the bedroom and he holds her hand, padding in bare feet, the hems of his pants-legs flopping behind his heels.

"Ah – resting. This would be the resting part, right? Yeah, well, I'm still not sure about that…" He regards the bed anxiously. "I mean, I dunno, Trance, I don't feel so resty – I mean, I'm just not that tired, y'know? Maybe in an few hours… I could have a snack or something, or a coffee – yeah, maybe if I had a coffee I could –"

She gives him a serious look.

"Harper, you don't need a coffee – the last thing you need is another stimulant. You have dark circles around your eyes and you look pale…you know, I think you _are_ tired. I'm pretty sure that once you lie down you'll realise just how tired you feel." She sits on the bed and bounces invitingly. "Come on. See? It's soft, and warm, and _very_ relaxing…"

He's not so sure, but he sits beside her anyway and tries a few experimental bounces.

"Relaxing, huh? Yeah, well, I guess relaxing…relaxing is, uh, good – heh, I haven't done relaxing in a while, but y'know, I'm sure I can…uh, relax with the best of 'em…hm…"

She smiles encouragingly, then glides over to give his feet room on the bed.

"That's it. Now you only have to put your head back…there. See? That's good. You're halfway there."

"I'm halfway there – halfway to where?" He's lying down with his head on the pillow, but he's stiff, hands plucking each other at chest level, eyes staring. "Oh, right – sleeping…and sleeping is good, right? I guess…or not so good – sleeping has been in the not-so-good category lately, because y'know – sleeping equals _dreaming_, and dreaming has been definitely not-so-good, in fact, _bad_, definitely bad, totally bad –"

He glances around wildly for a brief second, like he's lost his connection cable while on a space walk – he sees her hand and makes a grab for a lifeline.

"- because sleeping and dreaming have both been really, totally, incredibly _bad_ –"

She covers their joined hands with her spare one and shuffles over, sits crosslegged on the empty side of the bed.

"Harper, it's okay. It's gone. No more dreaming, remember? You don't have to worry anymore – you just need to rest."

"Hah." He occupies himself with a point on the ceiling. "It's easy for _you_ to say 'don't worry' – I mean, you don't have a whole backwash of Brandenburg Tor memories taking up space in your occipital lobe, and _believe_ me when I tell you that it's not too conducive to a peaceful night's sleep, so if you don't mind –"

He's getting agitated so she puts a finger on his chin to turn his face – he's looking at _her_ now, and not his memories.

"Harper, you have to _let it go_. These things are out of your brain now – they're just echoes. You have to find some quiet space in your mind…or think about the good things. There were good things in there too, weren't there?"

He blinks rapidly and takes a breath – sighs it out and clears his expression with an effort.

"Well…well, yeah. There were…there were good things. A few good things. I mean…I mean, some of it was good. The medical stuff, that was kinda cool. Cures for stuff, all kinds of things…productive things, y'know? How to cure Zynne fever. And antibiotics for that plague on Gexel 3. And how to perform surgery, and…and _midwifery_ – I mean, jeez, Trance, I could have delivered a _baby_…"

She smiles at his beatific expression. He's letting himself get caught up and it softens his face.

"…And the engineering plans were like – _wow_. Stuff I never even thought possible – hey, did you know that if you use a gel extractant on a diverse-fusion A72 auto-cooled reactor you can displace the core overloads and quadruple the energy output?"

She giggles.

"No, Harper, I never knew that."

She has unfurled herself to lie beside him, watching his body language. His eyelids are looking heavy. She directs his mind gently.

"So…that was some of the good stuff, huh?"

"Yeah…" He sighs, rolling over to face her. "Yeah, I guess there's always some sweet mixed with the…the sour." He yawns. "I mean, there were whole reams of political texts…people who wrote books about peace, about making it achievable… God, I guess…I guess almost anything's possible…"

"Anything's possible Harper. Even peace."

"You thinks so?" He yawns again.

"I do."

Their faces are turned together, divided yin-yang in conversation, and even their bodies hold similar positions, like twin seashells. He's still holding her hands. She's radiating calm and watching his eyes, red-rimmed and blinking – every time his eyelids go down, it takes them a little longer to come back up.

"And you could read all those books? In all those language?"

"Yeah…" He smiles sleepily. "Now _that_ was cool. I could…" Slow blink. "…I could speak all those languages, and… I mean, I could speak Than, and _Perseid_ – can you believe that?"

"Incredible."

"Really – and I could sing…in Verdun."

"I heard you singing."

"And…" Blink. "…and Old Spanish…"

"That's right."

"…and…um, French…"

"I know."

"…and I…" He blinks, losing focus, drifting. "…and I think…I even said something to you in _your_ language…"

She swallows, speaks softly.

"You did."

His eyelashes dip, close-and-open, slow-motion, underwater.

"…I did, didn't I?"

"Yes."

She's watching him melt away. Dwindling down, further…further. He nods off, starts, nods down again. His eyes close at last, his final words a whisper.

"…I jus'…jus' can't remember…"

Time goes slow, big drops into a spreading pool.

His breathing deepens, his face is gentle.

His hand holding hers softens and slides down.

She smiles in a wistful sort of way.

"You told me that I was beautiful."

Her voice is quiet, like the dawn.

But it doesn't matter.

He can't hear her.

He's asleep.

**__**

Finis


End file.
